I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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