She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
