My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
