Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize