I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Randomize
