i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
That accounts for only three of the penises
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
