I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
