4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
