In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
