I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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