my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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