ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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