I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
