Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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