I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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