IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
