Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Sponge bath it is.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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