Operation Purity has been aborted
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
