The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
