i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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