who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
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i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
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I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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