I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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