Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
