I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
