Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
