Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Let the clothes fall where they may.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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