we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
