the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
