i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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