Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
