Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize