Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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