You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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