I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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