so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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