Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
