fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
