Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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