I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
