I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
