Just fell off a train. Bad.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
