Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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