yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
