brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
