Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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