last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize