Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize