Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
