Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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