So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
