so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
