I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
