just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
