My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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