I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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