i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
