Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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