I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
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