i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
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Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
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I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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