Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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